Disney Cruise Stateroom Door Decorations

We've taken two Disney Cruise vacations now, and one of the things that my family loved to do was decorate our stateroom door.  It made it easy for the kids to find our room when we went down the hallway and it was really fun to see how others had their doors decorated.

The major rules that you have to follow is that you can't use any type of adhesive stickers on the doors or anything that goes over the top of the door (like over the door closet hooks, etc).  The doors are metal and everything must be hung using magnets.  You need a pretty heavy duty magnet and I've tried two different kinds.  On our first cruise I bought a roll of adhesive backed magnets that were labeled as heavy duty.  They were a little pricey, but I could cut them in the sizes I wanted and stick them on my projects (like these Fish Extender gifts I made here).  They didn't end up being quite strong enough to really hang well on the stateroom doors.  Sometimes we'd come back to our room and we would find a few decorations had slid down the door or were on the floor.  I found some adhesive backed magnetic buttons in the craft section at Walmart (only sold in stores) and used those for our next last cruise.  They worked perfectly and they were cheap at 18 for $1.97.  I added a little E6000 glue along with the adhesive sticker because I wanted them to really stick.  

These are what I used...

 

You can really do anything you want for your door decorations.  I wanted to keep with a Mickey Ears theme, so I found a template (I liked this one) and added my own designs to the inside of the ears in Microsoft Word.  I did one for each member of our family with their name and their favorite Disney character.  I also did a bunch of our favorite sports teams (and a CO flag) to show our Colorado pride.  I made one specific to our cruise for the second trip because I had someone from our cruise group (more on joining a group here) make one for us on our first trip that I loved having.  I had also seen a lot of cute character decorations to put around the round part on your door that has your stateroom number on it.  I found some really great templates on Pinterest and used this one to print a Pirate Mickey.  Really, you can do whatever you want.  I saw people with battery operated lights that they hung on their door, decorations for birthdays, anniversaries, etc.  Get creative!

To design my decorations, I used Microsoft Word.  I inserted the picture template, inserted another picture for the design I wanted, added a text box, and then played around with sizes.  I saved one and then kept that size and used it for the rest that I made.  I printed them, cut the design out, and then laminated them.  Make sure you cut the paper to the shape you want it prior to laminating, then laminate, then cut the plastic down to the correct size.  If you cut the paper after you laminate, there won't be anything to hold the seal and it will separate.  I have this Scotch Laminator and absolutely love it.  I got it as a gift and then bought extra 5x7" and 8.9x11.4" sheets from Amazon (much cheaper!)  After laminating, I glued a few magnets on the back and then stuck them all in a ziplock bag to pack in my suitcase.  You can read about my packing tips here. 

I somehow forgot to take a picture of our stateroom door on the first cruise, but managed to remember to do it on the last night of our second trip.  Side note, I let my seven year old daughter arrange the door and had to stop myself from moving things around every time I looked at it.  I thought about moving things around for the picture, but this is how she wanted it so I left it be.  We were also gifted some fun magnets from our Fish Extender group (more info on Fish Extenders here) that we loved adding to our door.

Decorating your door just adds a little more magic to an already magical Disney Cruise vacation.  It can be as simple or as complicated as you want to make it, but it adds a fun touch that my family really enjoyed.  If you aren't creative, I'm sure there are Etsy shops that sell pre-made decorations, or you could do simple stuff with Disney scrapbooking paper.  Make whatever you want and have fun with it!

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day

I've talked a bit about my many miscarriages, but after seeing a lot of posts about today being Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day, I wanted to bring the topic up again.  

I remember being at a doctor appointment and mentioning the fact that we'd like to start trying to get pregnant.  The doctor rambled through some information about prenatal vitamins and then finished the conversation with a comment about 25% of pregnancies ending in miscarriage, and to not be surprised if that happened at some point.  He was really matter of fact, and it seemed really strange to me at the time.  I was one of the first of my friends to start having kids, so this wasn't a topic that I'd ever heard anyone discuss.  I brushed it off with a "that will never happen to me" kind of attitude and didn't think about it again.  Fast forward a few months to my first pregnancy, where I thought everything was going as planned.  I was 15 weeks along, in my second trimester, and we'd told people that I was pregnant.  I woke up one morning to find that I was bleeding and went in the next day for an ultrasound. By then the bleeding had pretty much stopped, so my doctor and I were still thinking everything was fine.  My doctor sent me in for an ultrasound anyway, and the next few days are really blurry.  I knew at the ultrasound that something was wrong because they told me to go out and wait for the doctor to call me in.  My doctor wasn't in, so I waited for someone I'd never met.  I left the office knowing little more than that the baby was no longer alive and that I was having a miscarriage.  That doctor didn't tell me anything other than "it happens" and that I should call my regular doctor the next day to schedule a D&C (I had no idea what that even meant).  I had the D&C procedure a couple days later, was still given almost no information (and at the time I didn't even know what to ask), and was told to wait three months and then try again.  I was 24 years old, healthy, and in good shape, so I really just wanted some sort of explanation.  It wasn't until years later that I requested my medical records and upon reading them, was able to get a little bit more information about what had happened.

I took a week off of work after that, and upon returning found that no one had told anyone why I was gone.  As if losing the baby wasn't bad enough, I then had explain to people over and over, that I'd lost the baby and was not pregnant anymore.  This was my first experience with just how little this subject is spoken about.  I kept a lot to myself over the next few years, until one day I couldn't take it anymore.  I had a different blog back then and just suddenly sat down and wrote out my story.  The huge amount of relief that I felt after getting that all out to everyone I knew was incredible.  I had no idea just how much I was suffering by not talking about anything.  I started to talk a lot with other girls who'd gone through the same thing, with people who hadn't and wanted to know how to handle the situation when it happened to someone they knew, etc.  Eventually I found even more healing when I started volunteering for a non profit organization called Kids For Kyla, which gives grants to people trying to adopt or going through infertility treatments.  The founders are friends of mine who went through their own difficult journey and then went on to help others.  

I had the one miscarriage before having my son J, and then had four more before finally having my daughter R a month shy of J's 5th birthday.   I know I've mentioned it before, but we had every kind of test done that the doctors could think of and everything always came back perfectly normal.  Genetic testing, a few minor procedures, all sorts of things, but we never got any answers.  They just kept telling us "you should be able to have another baby."  In the beginning I got pregnant relatively quickly, but after awhile it started taking much longer.  Emotionally, the hardest miscarriage I had was the fourth one I had after having J.  It had taken me a year to get pregnant that time, and I was really hopeful because I'd made it to 9 weeks (which was farther than I had the few times before that).  I think it was after that one that I finally started telling people what was going on.  I couldn't take the comments from people about "you guys need to hurry up and have another one!" and "don't you think J needs a brother or sister?"  After all of my experiences with that, I would never dream of asking someone if they are going to have a baby, or to tell them they should have more.  You have no idea what people are going through, and there is nothing worse than hearing those things when you are struggling.

After years of telling my story, and talking to others about their experiences, I backtracked and stopped talking again.  A few years ago we decided that we'd like to have another baby, but again that proved to be easier said than done.  Due to my history, from the day I found out I was pregnant, they'd had me come in for blood work every 48 hours.  At first things looked good, but then the numbers wouldn't go up the way they were supposed to, and then they would, and then they wouldn't.  This dragged on for weeks, and the whole time I knew that things weren't ok.  I had been through so many losses, and I started having a gut feeling on how things were going to go each time I got a positive pregnancy test .  I can't really explain it, other than that when I found out I was pregnant with R, I just knew she was eventually going to be mine.  I'd had the same feeling with J, and I've never had that with any other pregnancy.  That was my sixth miscarriage and I went on with life without telling anyone other than my mom.  A year or so later we tried again and had a similar situation, but I didn't tell people anything.  After the seventh miscarriage I was emotionally and physically done.  It was the first time I'd really ever felt that finality, but I knew I couldn't do it anymore.  The relief I felt from that decision was remarkable.  

Long story long right?  I keep thinking I'll get to my point, but I keep thinking of more points. :) Miscarriages are unbelievably hard.  They are hard to talk about, especially if you haven't even told people you are pregnant to begin with.  I never could come up with how to start that conversation, so I just didn't.  You don't just suffer through that one period in time.  You see new babies born all the time, you pass due dates, things that you expected to be milestones for the baby, etc.  It is all just hard, and awful, and it kills me when I hear of someone going through something I know all too well. This has been talked about a lot lately in social media, but I don't think it can be said enough.  Mind your own business when it comes to other people and the fact that they haven't had kids at the "normal" time or frequency.  If you know someone who has suffered a miscarriage, just give them a hug, tell them that you love them, and just be there for them.  Do not, and I repeat, do not say "everything happens for a reason" or "it is probably for the best" or "you can try again!"  If you say these things, don't be surprised if someone eventually punches you in the face.  I had to hold myself back too many times to count.  

While it was incredibly difficult, looking back, I can't say that I'd change my situation.  My family wouldn't be what it is now, if I didn't go through everything I did.  I have a son and a daughter who fill up my life, and they are here because the others weren't able to be here with me.  I will always remember and hold a special place in my heart for those babies, but it is because of them that I have my babies here to hug every day.

Wrapping Up Summer

For many weeks leading up to the end of the school year, and thus the start of summer vacation, we count down the days with great anticipation.  The last day of school is an amazing and joyful day, and our thoughts are consumed with all of the relaxing and fun summer activities are upon us.  Birds are chirping, butterflies are flitting, and beautiful flowers are blooming.  It seems like it doesn't take long before reality sinks in, you start feeling like banging your head against the wall, and you realize you are secretly counting down the days until the kids go back to school.  Oh, is that just me?  I can't imagine that I'm in the minority here am I?

I've become quite the creature of habit in my adult years, and as much as it pains me, I need some structure that summer just doesn't provide.  I used to think I was a "fly by the seat of your pants" kind of girl, but I guess I'm just not.  As it turns out, my kids really aren't either.  My younger self surely is shaking her head at all of my lists, calendars (yes multiple), and ability to plan things months and years in advance.  I just like to know what's coming, OK?  

Christmas vacation is great.  It is just the right amount of time to relax, get some stuff done, and then send the kids back to school right around the time they start fighting with each other non stop.  I'm not one to entertain my kids at all times (see this post for more of an explanation), but unless you plan at least few things here and there, everyone seems to lose their minds mid summer.  We keep pretty busy with some vacations and also with sports stuff over the summer, but in between that, things get a little crazy.  My son would be perfectly happy if he could just hang out at home doing whatever he wants at all times.  My daughter wants to be around people all the time and has a never ending need to "go do something."  This leads to lots of disagreements and bickering between the kids, and leads me to that banging my head against the wall place I mentioned earlier.  I'd be happy with a nice mixture, of some days with nothing to do mixed in with some busy days in between.  I'd also love to just go run errands or do things that I want to do without opposition from the kids.  I think these are things only found in fairy tales though.

I felt like I was doing pretty well for most of the summer, but as I write this, I realize that it is because the first half of our summer was very full of scheduled plans.  I had lots of things I could put on a calendar and be able to stick to a pretty solid routine.  I keep a calendar on my phone that is linked to my husband's calendar, and I also keep a dry erase calendar on the refrigerator.  At the end of each month, I erase everything and write in all of our daily happenings for the next month.  I look at it multiple times a day and like to think I always know what's going on.  From the end of the school year, until the first week of July, our calendar was very full.  Dance classes, dance recital, baseball, a couple vacations, races my husband was running, etc.  Every day had something written on it.  When I did the July calendar, we hardly had anything.  Literally nothing other than baseball practice and games.  It made me feel uneasy, and I'll admit to several moments of panic because I kept feeling like I was forgetting to be somewhere.  I guess I work better if I have a solid routine to follow, even though I always thought I could just wing it and be fine. 

Carefully planned schedules and "To Do" Lists make me happy.  

The last part of July and this first part of August I've been a hot mess.  The lack of  things on the calendar apparently turned me into a complete idiot and I have (hopefully temporarily) lost my ability to handle any sort of scheduling.  In the last week or so, I've managed to over book too many things to count.  I'm not sure if that nearly blank July calendar sent me into the mindset of "oh we have nothing going on, that works great!" or what my problem is, but I've made some ridiculous scheduling errors.  I signed my daughter up for a two week session of swimming lessons (the last session available, because I forgot to sign her up for the previous session), and they asked me "Would you like to sign her up for a half session or the full session?"  What that turned into was "Here take my full session payment, but she'll really only come the first week because I don't remember that I already have her signed up for a mandatory dance camp during the second week."  After that I ended up having to cancel a hotel reservation for this weekend.   My son has a three day soccer tournament out of town and I somehow booked two things, in two different cities on Saturday.  It isn't easy to be two places at once, so I'll have to drive back and forth a couple times instead of getting to stay overnight. Oh, and the Friday night we were supposed to stay at the hotel, I also realized I was going to have to skip my Bunco group (which has been on my calendar since May, and is also my rare night out alone) because we'll be at the soccer tournament.  After figuring out everything for this weekend, I thought I had my shit together.  That was until a day this week at 5:20pm, where my husband called and said something along the lines of "Did J get to soccer ok today?" in reference to his practice that starts at 5:00pm.  My answer to this was a flustered "Shit, no, I forgot to take him.  We are leaving right now."  He thought I was joking, but I was totally serious.  No big deal, only 30 minutes late to practice.  My mind is on vacation, and I really need it back.

I find it so funny how many things we look forward to, and then by the time we actually there, we count down the days until it is over.  In the winter we are too cold and can't wait for warmer weather, in the summer we are just too hot and can't wait for fall.  At this point, I don't care about the temperature, I just want to be able to use my brain again.  Hopefully it coincides with the kids going back to school.  In the meantime, I hope my friends and family have some patience with me.  12 more days till school starts!

Traveling With My Kids

We didn't do a lot of traveling when I was a kid.  We would take road trips to to see my grandparents,  sometimes to go see my cousins (but usually they came to us), and we went on a few little family vacations, but we didn't go to a lot of new places.  A lot of our vacation time was spent camping on some land my family owns up in the mountains, which was incredible and now I get to take my kids there.  The only times I really ever flew anywhere was to go to gymnastics meets (more about my gymnastics here) that were out of state.  As an adult, I've made long lists of all the places I want to travel to and am slowly checking things off.  It has been really amazing to be able to take the kids on trips with us, and I love that by the time they are my age, they'll already have an incredible list of places they've visited.

Early on in our marriage we talked about how important it is for us to be able to "go do stuff." We love to go on little adventures like camping at the lake in Wyoming or Nebraska, but we also love to take big trips too.  When we bought our house almost 12 years ago, we thought we'd stay a few years and then buy something bigger.  Along the way, we realized that we are totally fine with our house, and we'd much rather stay here and be able to take a lot of family trips, than buy a bigger house and be limited in the adventures we can have.  We've been able to travel a lot and I wouldn't trade those experiences with my family for anything.  My son is 11 and he's been to 14 states and three countries.  He's traveled by car, by air, by train, and by boat.  My daughter is 6 and has been to 12 states and three countries, but hasn't gotten to travel by train yet.  Our trip in December/January will take them to Texas, St. Thomas, Tortola, and San Juan, Puerto Rico, so they can add some more places to their list.  Being able to travel like that never even crossed my mind as a kid.  For them to be able to not only learn about new places, but experience them first hand is pretty remarkable.

I have a few things I try to always do when we travel.  I'm sure we'd be fine if I did things differently, but I'm of the opinion that you stick with what works, so I don't try to mess with things.  Also, I get major travel anxiety and have some pretty super OCD tendencies, so changing things up isn't really an option for me. :)

- 99.9% of the time I take the very earliest flight possible when leaving for a trip.  This often means waking up at 2:00am, but it is worth it to me.  I pull the kids out of bed, they get dressed, get in the car, and go back to sleep for the hour long drive to the airport.  Once we are there, we check in, go through security, and then eat breakfast.  By the time we are done it is time to get on the plane, where the kids often go back to sleep again.

- I let the kids pack their carry on bags.  They grab a backpack and put whatever they want in it.  I used to pack the bag for them, but I never have to hear "I'm bored, I don't have anything to do" now that they are responsible for what is in their bag.  I actually get a kick out of seeing the things they opt to take.

- We always pack a treat.  We don't do a ton of candy at our house, but we always take some when we travel.  When I was growing up, my mom would keep a bag of gummy candy and we'd get a piece every hour of the road trip if we had made it through that time without fighting.  It is something I always loved, and so I do it with my kids too.  Plus, I personally require gummy bears to fly and I don't like to share.  The kids can pick out their own treat and I get to keep mine to myself.

- We get to the gate and hang out there.  My husband likes to stress me out and wander around the terminal while we are waiting to board.  I like to have eaten, and taken the kids to the bathroom prior to stopping at our gate so that we are ready to board when it is time.  He knows this drives me crazy, but wanders around anyway and upping my anxiety level every time we travel.

- I prefer to fly Southwest for a variety of reasons, but my biggest one is that I like to be able to pick my seats (without paying extra for them) because I want to sit in an even numbered row.  I have a major aversion to odd numbers, and I like to be able to choose to sit in a row that doesn't end in 1,3,5,7, or 9. Some of my friends have suggested that this makes me look a little nuts.  I, however, find this to be totally rational. :)

We just got back from a trip to Nashville, and I realized what great travelers my kids are.  The kids and I took a flight a few days ahead of my husband and I was a little nervous about flying with both kids by myself.  I flew a few times with just my daughter when she was a toddler, but that was easy in my opinion.  I'd just strap her on my back in the Ergo carrier and cruise through the airport.  Now at six years old, she has a habit of lagging behind, and it doesn't bother her a bit if she can't see me.  I on they other hand, panic if I lose sight of her for two seconds.  When the four of us travel together, it seems like my husband and I just naturally take responsibility for one of the kids, so I am just not really used to having to keep track of both of them in an airport.  They were champs though and we sailed through checking our bag and car seat (you know, because I'm the Car Seat Nazi), through the giant security line, and to our gate.  The flight home went the same way, despite being delayed and late in the evening.  We have a big trip coming up again in January, which will involve almost 9 hours of travel flying home from San Juan, Puerto Rico.  I'm hoping they can manage to continue their streak of being awesome little travelers through that trip!

Fashion Friday - Kid Edition

We are on vacation this week and while packing, I realized my daughter had enough red, white, and blue outfits to last the whole holiday week.  It is ridiculous how excited I was over this, and as a result, Fashion Friday is all about kids 4th of July outfits.  

My kids tend to be pretty rough on clothes, so quality is important to me.  I also love unique stuff and don't like to spend a lot of money, which makes it tricky to find what I want.  Just like with my own clothes, when I find things that I really like for the kids, I tend to stick to that brand and style.  I was recently added to an online boutique page on Facebook and have been buying a ton of R's stuff from there.  They are local to me, which is great because I can just go pick the items I order up, but she ships all over so you don't have to be near us to buy.  She sells super cute boutique style clothes at really great prices.  I always prefer to buy stuff from mom based businesses, so Sparklers is a great choice for me.  I get a tremendous amount of compliments any time R wears one of her Sparklers Children's Boutique outfits.  Ordering from there is really easy.  She posts pictures of items that are available for order, what sizes they come in, when the delivery date is, etc., and you just leave your email address and size needed in the comments.  Once the order is ready to fill she emails you an invoice, orders the item, and then either lets you know that it is ready to pick up or ships it out to you.  Love it!

We love our Red, White, and Blue!

Left Outfit

Top & Shorts - Sparklers Children's Boutique

Headband - Trendy Turtle

Shoes (both outfits)- Target (similar) from last summer 

Right Outfit

T-Shirt - Made by me

Close up picture of the shirt...

Shorts - Target

Hair Bow - Pink Bug Boutique

Left Outfit

Top & Shorts - Sparklers Children's Boutique

Shoes - Walmart

Hair Bow - Pink Bug Boutique

Right Outfit

Dress & Matching Doll Dress - Lilli Lovebird from Zulily

Shoes - Target (similar) from last summer

Hair Bow - Old from Crazy 8 

Dress - Sparklers Children's Boutique

Shoes - Target (similar) from last summer

Headband - Trendy Turtle

Left Outfit

Dress - Screaming Owl

Leggings - From our local Kroger grocery store

Shoes - Target (similar) from last summer

Hair Bow - Pink Bug Boutique

Right Outfit

Shirt - Screaming Owl

Shorts - Target

Shoes - Walmart

Raising Independent Kids

I've had people tell me that I'm lucky that my kids can entertain themselves.  This has always struck me as an odd statement, because I feel like it is something that should be a really normal thing.  My son has always been great at playing on his own and I really think he prefers it to playing with others.  My daughter does really love to play with friends, but she is can also play by herself for hours at a time.  They are both really creative kids, and I love seeing them play by themselves.

I mentioned in my post last week (found here) that I hate the need today's society has to constantly entertain our kids and provide them with structured activities.  I feel that in the long run, the only thing this does is hinder their ability to be creative and learn to entertain themselves.  I'll admit that with my first child, I was quick to sign up for library story hour, and a couple other mom and me classes, but I skipped every single one of those with my second child.  I spent those story time classes trying to corral an 18 month old into sitting and listening to a book, while all the other moms did the same thing.  Did it teach him to sit and listen?  No.  Did it socialize him with kids his age?  No.  Did he learn anything while we were there?  Again, no.  What it did do was drive me crazy and make me feel like a bad mom for not having a kid that would sit quietly and listen to story time.  Really though, none of the kids sat quietly and listened, because kids that age just don't do that.  Needless to say, my daughter never went to one and she's still managed to become a very social little girl who does great in school.  In my opinion, all of these classes mean a lot more to the parents than they do to the tiny kids that are being dragged to them.

Pinterest is one of my favorite things to waste time on, but it is also something that represents so many problems with parenting these days.  The whole philosophy of needing to plan out things for kids to do all day, every day just doesn't sit well with me.  Do I do some projects with my kids sometimes?  Sure I do, but 9 times out of 10, I let me kids do whatever they want to do.  We have a box full of paper, scissors, markers, crayons, paints, and other craft stuff and I don't typically dictate what they do.  My daughter makes projects almost every day, and I love seeing what she comes up with.  She cuts, pastes, colors, and designs, all sorts of little treasures all on her own.  That is what I think is beneficial to a child's development, not putting something that you partially made in front of them, and helping them or telling them how to assemble the rest of it.  Yes it is great for them to learn how to follow directions and put things in order, but it is also great for them to just be creative.  Also, my OCD tendencies always get in the way and I have a really hard time not helping them do things the way I think they should be done.  I learned several years ago that they have a lot more fun, and they are really proud of their stuff when I just back off and let them create.

I have watched so many people who are just exhausted at the end of the day because their kids need constant attention and don't know how to entertain themselves.  The parents move the kids from one activity to the next and dictate every playtime activity.  As soon as the kid has lost their attention span on one thing, then they are asking their mom or dad for something else to do.  I get it, kids attention spans aren't always great, but they really should be able to play on their own.  I've always loved listening to my kids play.  They are the voice of all the toys they play with, and their little conversations with themselves are hilarious.  My son would play for hours with cars, blocks, trains, anything a typical boy likes.  My daughter will set up elaborate Barbie or stuffed animal scenarios and play forever with no need for me to help her.  (Well, other than the occasional dress change on those tiny little Disney Princesses that wear rubber dresses.  What is the deal with making those impossible for kids to maneuver??)  This is something I love because they are perfectly happy and I get a little time to get my things done.  I have a friend who mentioned not having a free second in the day, and after being at her house one day I understood why.  Her son had no idea how to play by himself because she'd never let him try.  I think this happens a lot now and I really don't think it will be beneficial to the kids long term.

We've never had super structured days at our house.  Even when the kids were babies, we were kind of a fly by the seat of our pants family.  We had a time frame that I tried to stay around for naps and stuff, but the world didn't end if I had stuff to do and we skipped something.  I tried to stay with a similar schedule, but life doesn't always work that way and I think my kids are better off because of that.  They have always been able to adapt to schedule changes pretty well, which works out great when we go on vacation or have random things come up.  The thought of having to plan something out for them to do all day every day makes me crazy.

When I was growing up, we lived out in the country and didn't have other kids (just me and my two younger brothers) to play with.  We became really independent kids and went outside all summer long and just played.  We built forts, and made up our own games, played in our little creek, and ran around the pasture.  I can't imagine doing things any other way and I think it helped me grow into an independent person.  I have never relied on others to entertain me or give me things to do, and I'd love for my kids to continue on that same path.

People are moving so quickly towards the "Pinterest Parenting" way of raising kids, and it really scares me what all those kids are going to be like as adults.  What happens when kids grow up and move out on their own after being accustomed to someone providing them with something to do at all times?  Will they be able to complete a day of work when they are responsible for scheduling their day out and getting tasks done with no assistance?  I really hate that there are new moms out there who think they are doing the wrong thing if they haven't completed all of the things on the "100 Things to do With Your Kids This Summer" list they found on Pinterest, or that they haven't taken their baby to multiple "mommy and me" classes throughout the week.  Parents, it is ok to not plan out a full day of activities for your kids.  Further more, it is more than ok to just let your kids be kids and figure out on their own what to play with or what craft project to do.  Let them grow their independence and creativity.  I'm thankful to my mom for sending us out to come up with our own fun, and I'm sure that someday your kids will be too.    

Kids and Sports

I was a gymnast from the time I could walk, until I was 16 years old.  The only other sport I really ever did was dance, and that was because it was something that went hand in hand with gymnastics.  It was serious business and I was in the gym for around 25 hours a week for as many years as I can remember.  I truly did love the sport, so don't let this post make you think otherwise, but my heavy involvement and lack of being able to ever do anything else, is definitely something that influences the way I look at sports for my kids.  

The way kids were involved with most sports was a lot different when I was a kid, than it is for my kids now.  I say this with the exclusion of my gymnastics career, because that is a lot like the expectations of kids and sports today.  I feel like when I was growing up, that recreation sports were just that.  Recreation.  Today everything is a million times more competitive, and everyone starts involving their kids at much younger ages.  I know there was little league baseball, and soccer when I was little, but it wasn't a big deal and was mostly for fun.  Now, if you don't start your kid in soccer, t-ball, flag football, volleyball, or whatever other available activity made available from the time they are preschool aged, then you've done something wrong.  How will they ever get a college scholarship if they haven't been on the soccer field since the time they learned to run???  I have no doubt that there are people out there who truly believe that is the case.  People hand select their rosters for 7 year old baseball, softball, soccer, you name it.  Is it really necessary to dominate the rec league?  I'm sorry, but I'm also not going to pay any amount of money to send a five year old to a volleyball "skills" camp or whatever other nonsense there is for kids that age.  Plenty of people see value in things like this, but I am not one of them. The constant need to have kids involved in a structured activity makes me crazy, and I want no part of it. Send your kids out to the yard to play and kick a ball around, that's what they really need to be doing at that age.  I'll save my thoughts on the need to constantly entertain our kids for another post.  I'm sure this one will already be long enough.

I really started thinking about the insanity of all of this sports stuff last summer.  My son J was 10 years old, and completely obsessed with all things hockey.  For the record, depending on the time of year, he was already playing competitive club soccer, basketball, and baseball.  He talked to us about wanting to learn to play hockey and I actually had the thought "It might be too late for him to start, he's already 10."  What the??  10 is now too old to start a sport?  When I was a kid you tried new sports when you got to 7th grade and had school teams you could participate in.  Now, your kid joining a middle school team without ever having played the sport would blow everyone's minds.  Back to hockey... We'd gone ice skating a few months before my son asked about playing hockey, and to say he couldn't skate doesn't even cover it.  The kid couldn't go three feet without falling.  I'm not talking minor falls either, I mean he was full on wiping out every few steps.  He had a hockey stick and puck that he'd play with in the basement, but skating was not a skill he was even close to having down.  We decided that we weren't going to tell him no, and signed him up to start a skating skills class at our local ice haus.  He was twice the age and size of all the other kids in his class, but it didn't phase him.  He is an athletic and competitive kid, and he had his mind set on passing the three skating levels necessary to be able to play with a stick and puck.   I'm getting off track, but my point is, what in the hell is wrong with our society that I had to think twice about letting my son play a sport because age 10 is "too old to start".  We just hit the one year mark of him starting hockey, and the kid has absolutely blown my mind.  He is a goal scoring machine, dominates the games, has complete love for the sport, and is going to start competitive hockey (along with soccer, because they'll overlap a bit) this fall.  When I watch him play, I just know that this is his sport.  It fits his personality, he is really great at it, and he gets so pumped up for games.  What if I'd never let him give it a try?  By all other standards in this day and age, I shouldn't have because he hadn't followed the timeline of starting when he was in preschool.  I'm so proud of him for not paying attention to the fact that he was learning with kids half his age when he started, and that he just worked hard at something he loved.  None of those kids have advanced with him over the last year, and he now has joined the ranks of kids his own age.  He's a pretty kick ass kid, and to think that I hesitated before letting him give hockey a try because of his age makes me want to kick my own ass. 

I spent my entire youth in the same sport.  My mom let me try volleyball in 7th grade (after much begging and pleading), and I actually really liked it.  I ended up being way too tall for a gymnast, so volleyball would have probably been a pretty great sport for me, but I didn't get to keep at it.  I loved gymnastics, I really did, but as a kid I wanted to do all the things my friends were doing.  I feel like I missed out on so much because I was in such a specialized sport.  Gymnastics takes a huge commitment, and there just isn't time for anything else.  I practiced every day from 4-8pm and also on Saturday mornings, which doesn't leave any availability for other activities. Not only that, but I can't even count how many times I was told that other sports weren't a good idea because I could hurt myself, and if that were the case, my gymnastics would suffer.  I hated P.E. in school because I didn't know how to play softball, or soccer, or any of the things we did in class.  I always felt out of place and wished that I had gotten a chance to be on the fun teams with my friends. It is because of this, that I've always let my kids try whatever sports they want to.  With the exception of gymnastics, because let's be honest, I can barely get out of bed in the morning because my body thinks I'm 85 years old as a result of all my years in the gym.  I was so over committed to gymnastics, that I really have to think hard about my kids and what they do.  My husband on the other hand, grew up wanting to do a lot more, but getting really involved in sports wasn't something his parents were in to, so he didn't participate in much.  Don't worry about him though, he's making up for it as an adult who runs every race he can and is sponsored on a racing team.  We come from very different situations, and now we have to figure out how to balance me not wanting the kids too involved, and him wanting them to be involved in everything.  I'm trying to stick with the thought process of just letting them do whatever they want so long as I can manage the schedule.

Soccer season and baseball season always overlap for about 2-3 weeks each year, so my son misses a couple baseball practices while he wraps up his competitive soccer season. A couple of summers ago J had a baseball coach (mind you, this is in a recreational little league) who griped at him for missing a practice and said "You need to pick a sport, son."  I'm sorry, but at what point did we decide that at age 9, a child needs to determine what the only sport they are going to play from there on will be?  We never played on that guy's team again, and we've yet to "pick a sport."  J loves baseball, but wants to play other things, so we don't play year round competitive baseball like a lot of his friends do.  He does play competitive soccer for a couple of reasons.  One, he is really good at it, and two, there aren't really 11/12 year old recreation teams anymore because so many kids have "picked a sport."  If he wanted to stop, that would be his decision, and I'd have an extra chunk of money in my pocket each year, but he really loves to play.  I really don't see the value in limiting a young kid to one sport.  Physically, it is great for them to develop strengths that different sports provide.  Mentally, each sport requires a different level of focus and determination and I think they need to learn how to prepare and compete in different situations.  My little brother B is one of the best examples I can think of for why kids shouldn't pick just one sport.  That kid (I say kid, but he's 20 now) worked his ass off at every sport he's ever played.  He went through high school not just playing, but dominating every sport he played.  He ran cross country for a couple years, was the quarterback of the football team, one of the leading scorers on the basketball team, and an absolutely incredible baseball player.  He went through high school knowing he'd play a college sport and that it would just depend on which one would pay his way through school.  He went to junior college on a full ride for baseball, and now next year will be doing the same thing to finish college at a four year school on baseball scholarship.  I truly believe that he is such an incredible athlete because he played all the sports.  The mentality of making a kid choose a specialty by the time they are 10 years old is totally nuts.  You risk completely burning those kids out in a few years, at which point they'll quit and not have anything else they are interested in.  The stress and pressure this puts on kids is not healthy, and there is really not a point.  Why can't we just let our kids play sports because they love them?  

I don't really know how all of this developed.  You would think that all of the people my age with kids, would remember how much fun they had playing rec sports when they were little and would want their kids to have the same fun.  Instead, we now have to have signs like this posted at games...

I mean come on people, we need reminders of this?  There was actually a fight between parents a couple of years ago at the baseball fields here.  We now have rules stating you can not speak to the umpires during the game, and if you have a certain amount of incidents then you will be banned from the fields.  I can't even believe rules like that need to be in place.  When I was in high school I went to watch my younger brothers play baseball games almost every day all summer long.  The games were fun to watch, the kids enjoyed playing, and there was no nonsense.  It is something I remember so fondly, and it kills me that summer ball games aren't like that anymore.  Is it really too much to ask that people start acting like grown ups, stop living vicariously through their kids, and just sit and enjoy watching them play sports?  I mean, really.